When I was walking the beach last week I saw a “whitish” stone that had washed onto the sand. I wasn’t sure if it was a piece of coral so I picked it up to examine it. Then the thought came to me…wouldn’t it be cool if this was a piece of gold?! So I started pondering about the things in life that are golden. One thought I had was the “golden” hours of light that photographers love to take pictures. And that made me think of this picture I took a couple years ago down at Port Aransas, Texas.

I love this picture…it makes me think of heaven. And heaven is where our son Keith “Benton” Arnold III has resided for several years. The week before he passed he told me his favorite color was gold. At that time I had never heard of anyone even thinking gold was a color! And he even said…isn’t that weird? Which I said…kinda. And then he went on to explain it was not the color yellow…it was metallic gold. Now since he’s passed I think of him often when I think of the color gold. And I am reminded that he is now walking the great street of gold in the Holy City in heaven.

Revelation 21:21 …”The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of pure gold, like a transparent glass.”

This is my sixth Mother’s Day without both of our son on this earth. I wish I could say over the years that special occasions and holidays have gotten easier…but really each continues to be different. And I think thats due to time, but also to where Ive been in my relationship with my heavenly Father. God has shown me the “miss” will never go away but that I can truly live again.

This Mother’s Day I pray for all of the mothers who have “Golden Children” in heaven. And I pray for us as we continue to live life here on earth…that we may feel the joy that they have in heaven with our heavenly Father.

When I think about Easter and Jesus on the cross…I also think of the other two crosses. They each hung a criminal on either side of Jesus. I have always thought this a very significant piece of our scriptures. To me it reveals the simplicity of the gospel of Christ. For those of you who don’t know the story its in the New Testament of the Bible in Luke 23: 39-43.

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!” But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “Since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”

We learn from this we need to “fear God” …that’s it. Some of you may ask, what does fearing God mean? To me its an immense feeling of respect and adoration towards God. Its nothing flippant. Its like our earthly relationship with our own mother or father in that we love and respect them. We want to (usually) please them out of this love and respect. Not out of fear of punishment.

There are many Christians that aren’t sure if there loved ones are in heaven. To me this scripture is a message of hope. And that is exactly what Easter is….Christ died on the cross for us so that when we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, we too will one day live with Him in heaven.

Theres not a “list” of to do’s with God…Keep it simple. “Fear God.” And “you will be with me in paradise.” There are so many things as believers we can’t know until we are in heaven with God. But scripture gives us many things we can know. Looking up to heavenly things has lead to much soulful healing for me. One devotional I read today said that when we do that…it keeps our eyes off of ourselves. And I believe it.

Keep your eyes on God…our eternal HOPE!

*And for those of you that want to know about the photo…I took it last February when I was in Lourdes, France.

I took this picture back on February 29th, 2020 to share with y’all. Here in Austin, Texas we had spring buds and leaves coming out on the trees. But we also had the leaves of fall trying to hang on the tree as well. I love how God reveals our humanness to me in nature. Even though God is pushing or pulling me into a new season…I just want to hang onto the old, dried up leaves of the past. Those dried up leaves also remind me of how much I lived and learned in the past few years. And sometimes the past can be relevant to what we are going through today. Lessons of the past that can get us through the future. And one of the biggest lessons I learned from God was about His peace.

I now see that God’s peace is totally what has gotten me through these difficult…tragic times. And the scripture that has meant the most is one that many of you are familiar with because its really the go-to scripture for Gods peace. For me it struck a new heart string when I read it…and “felt” it …in a sympathy card that was sent to us by one of my best friends.

Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord Always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understand, will GUARD your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or reheard from me…put it into practice. And the God of Peace will be with you.

I don’t know why but in my earlier concept of this scripture… “Gods Peace” was like clouds floating in the sky…and I was floating among them. For the first time ever I saw the word GUARD. This word means that God is actually protecting our hearts and minds…and its through His peace. My Bible commentary spells guard out…”A military concept depicting a sentry standing guard. God’s “protective custody” of those who are in Christ Jesus extends to the core of their beings and to their deepest intentions.” When our son died….I knew deep down I needed this kind of peace. I needed God protecting my thoughts as well as my body. Our thoughts can take us to places that God does not intend. When we put our thoughts to God He will transform them away from worldly thoughts to heavenly thoughts. For example, when I would wake up at night and start doing the woulda coulda shoulda’s. Yikes! I had no idea that is what happened to people when tragedy struck. So this was shocking as well as exhausting. I would then pray and ask God to GUARD my heart and mind and thankfully the Lord started putting Christian songs in my head that would play over and over again until I dose off to sleep again. And He still does this for me as I need Him to.

Now we have Coronavirus or Covid-19 to rattle our peace…and what and who do we turn to during this time? It so reminds me of my early days of grief…all the not knowing and uncertainty of what the future would look like. I am so grateful for all the scripture I knew before our son passed. Because when it happened I needed all the weapons God could give me for the battle. This scripture says it all…

John 14: 25-27 (This is when Jesus is promising the disciples the Holy Spirit) All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and WILL REMIND YOU OF EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID TO YOU. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble But take heart! I have overcome the world!

And then in John 20:19 (The first time Jesus saw His disciples after His resurrection) Jesus appears to the disciples through locked doors and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”

What is peace? Lots of times when I need clarity I need to look at what it isn’t….Peace is not….worry, war, discord, distress, restless, boredom, stubbornness…..tired… Peace is a part of our true selves that we want to be aware of and grow in us. It is the Hebrew word Shalom that literally means peace. It is “completeness, soundness, welfare, peace.” It can be external or internal. The peace we are talking about here is….”A total well being and inner rest of Spirit, in fellowship with God. All true peace is His gift.”

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

As we go through changes and sadness with the coronavirus I would encourage each of us to cry out and release it to God. There are many things we can do in our present day situation but there are many things we can not do anything about. BUT we have the choice and freedom to give “ALL” things over to God.

Today in my Jesus is Calling devotional book Sarah Young writes, “Sometimes My blessings come to you in mysterious ways: through pain and trouble. At such time you can know My goodness only through your trust in Me. Understanding will fail you, but trust will keep you close to Me.”

I would encourage you to tune out the other voices so you can tune into God’s voice. He will walk us through the valley of the shadow of death and we know from the last verse…And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever. (Psalm 23) He’s got our back.

With my God I can scale a wall. Psalm 18:29

Wow, how have I missed this Bible verse before now? Sure I have read before. But yesterday I must have really needed it. Im sure many of you can relate.

Deep grief is complicated. Several years ago one creative person expressed deep grief/thoughts as scribble all over a piece of paper. Showing how our thoughts just go “everywhere”. I think most people who have a child in heaven can relate to this picture of grief. But yet, we are each so different in our grief. Every situation around their death is different. And then each one of us…not to mention our other immediate family experience it all differently.

Ive realized that much of how we react to any situation in our lives is directly related to our personalities and how we look at things. Let me use myself as an example. I am fairly black and white in how I look at the world. Of course as Ive grown in my experiences…I do realize there are shades of grey! I think this has given me a different perspective on losing a child and my own personal grief. Not better…not worse than other people. Just different.

It has helped me to learn more about myself. In this process of healing from the deep grief Ive been able to look inward. Who am I really? One book that I have read to learn more about me and how others react is called, “The Road Back to You” by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stahle. Here’s a link to the book.

https://www.christianbook.com/road-back-enneagram-journey-self-discovery/ian-cron/9780830846191/pd/846191?en=google&event=SHOP&kw=christian-living-0-20%7C846191&p=1179710&dv=c&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7OnxBRCNARIsAIW53B_QVU-RlilqwJ_ptLWOFHhmp_J2XJo_Fes7TaHRREto8x5zpdMUrboaAiLcEALw_wcB

Sometimes it may feel like no matter how much God heals us…we are still not quite healed yet. I felt God tell me I am healed. I am different now. God has transformed me to the person I am today. This is just who I am now. I know too much to ever go back to the person I was before Benton ran ahead to heaven. And sometimes when I have a hard day I just have to jump that wall with God’s help.

Thank you Lord for your scripture that is the Living Word of God. And that your Holy Spirit dwells in us and gives us your light. Your power. Your glory. Amen

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
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The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

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• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
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You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

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